The Silent Struggle: Male Survivors Trauma Holiday Survival

The silent struggles male survivors face to survive holidays can be daunting. The holiday season can be a time of joy, but for many male survivors of abuse, it’s a reminder of the painful truths hidden in plain sight. Family gatherings become battlegrounds, where the unexposed, accused abuser or perpetrator still sits at the same table, while survivors are expected to pretend everything is fine.

Some of us try to protect ourselves by walking away—setting boundaries that others don’t understand. We are judged harshly for not “forgiving” or “letting go” of the past, as though our pain should be forgotten for the sake of holiday harmony. In reality, we’re often just trying to survive. We summon the courage to repair what we didn’t break, hoping that our families will finally acknowledge the harm that was done to us. But deep down, we know that reconciliation may never come. So we try to heal in isolation, feeling abandoned by those we once trusted the most.

Years ago, we decided to take a different path. During Thanksgiving weekend, we held a workshop specifically for male survivors. It turned out to be one of the best Thanksgivings we’ve ever had—a weekend where we were no longer the ones carrying the weight of unspoken trauma. Instead, we became a community of safe, supportive people who understood each other’s pain and shared in the healing process.

That experience was a turning point for many of us, and it’s the foundation of The Male Survivor Journey. We exist because we know what it’s like to long for a family reckoning that may never come, and we believe that healing is possible—when we build our own community of support, trust, and understanding.

For all the survivors out there, this season, and every season, you are not alone. Your journey is valid, and your healing matters.

Be Free

Coach T

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